The Kindle

Last week I installed the "Kindle" app for my Droid and promptly downloaded 18 books.  They are just sitting there, on my phone, waiting for me to read them.  Sometimes I feel a wave of excitement when I realize that I have 18 books just sitting in my pocket, AND that I could download virtually any book in the world in a matter of minutes.  It feels like... like I felt as a little kid when I would remember suddenly that Christmas was right around the corner.

There is something satisfying about pulling out my phone and using it as a book.  On the other hand, there is also something satisfying about flipping through the pages of a real book.  I like to smell my books as I read them, bringing the pages close and fanning them so that the air blows over my face.  I revel in the smell of the paper, the ink, and the glue that holds everything together.  I'll never be able to get that out of my phone.

I will probably buy a real Kindle just because it is larger and the screen is designed to approximate a real book more closely.  But I don't suppose that electronic readers will ever replace all of my books.  There is too much of an emotional connection there.

Fashion

While sitting in the lobby of a dentist office today, I was intrigued by the appearance and conversation of two hygienists standing behind the front desk.  The two girls obviously lived in a completely different world than I did - I could tell just by looking at them.  Something about the way they carried themselves said that they were perpetually cognizant of their clothing, makeup, hair, and general appearance.  They tried hard enough that it was painfully obvious; they had a little too much makeup, fake tans, and carefully crafted hair.

I found their appearance a little distasteful (just a personal preference, I guess).  But if I didn't care for their looks, their conversation was even more repelling.  One of them held an issue of US Weekly magazine and, referencing a picture of a woman on the cover, said "what does that shirt look like to you?"

The girl glanced at the cover and said, "oh wow, that's, like, a Wal-Mart shirt!"  The other laughed.  "Yeah, can you believe it?!  How could she wear a WAL-MART shirt on the cover of US Weekly!"

Hearing the exchange, I thought to myself, "I can't believe you even care enough to know that it is a Wal-Mart shirt..."  I found myself feeling a little annoyed at them for caring so deeply about something that seems, to me, so absolutely frivolous.  Thinking more carefully, though, I realized that there isn't anything inherently wrong with caring about fashion.  I imagine there is a kind of art to it.  Keeping astride with the world of fashion is probably tricky and, for some, exciting.

I thought their fashion interests were frivolous mainly because fashion is irrelevant.  Fashions come and go, irrespective of the real issues that plague the world.  But it suddenly occurred to me that, while I am not interested in fashion, I am interested in a lot of things that are equally irrelevant.  My sitting down to play the piano isn't going to change the world.  Sure, I develop a talent, but deep down I don't think there is anything that makes a talent for music any more valuable than a talent for recognizing and even setting social trends.  The only difference lies in how those talents are perceived by the world.

I guess my point is that my gut reaction was to see those two hygienists as shallow and irrelevant.  But in this case, my gut reaction was based less on reason and more on my own social expectations.  Their interests were so far removed from my own that I made a knee-jerk judgment without really understanding them.  I wonder how often I do that.

Mormon Missions and Marriage

To understand this post, you need to comprehend a couple things about Mormon culture.  First, Mormons assign a very high value to Marriage.  To us, marriage is an eternal thing.  Once you are married on Earth by the proper authority, you and your spouse are sealed together forever, even after death.  Not only is marriage eternal, it is also necessary for exaltation - in the life to come, you can't obtain the highest degree of happiness without a spouse.  We therefore encourage young adults to not unnecessarily delay marriage.  It is, in a real way, the "next step" in your progression.  Because of this, Mormons often marry at younger ages than people in other cultures.

Second, Mormons are encouraged to serve ecclesiastical missions for the church.  Young men are almost expected to do so - they typically go for a full two years at the age of 19.  Young women, on the other hand, can choose to go if they want, but there is no real cultural expectation for them to do so.  Unlike young men, young women go at the age of 21.  I tend to think that guys go starting at an earlier age because it provides good training that keeps them out of trouble during those formative late-teen years.  I feel like women are usually more mature at that age and are less in need of a rigid mission life-structure to keep them out of trouble...  In any event, we serve missions because we feel it is important for everyone to understand the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Now, to the point.  It often happens in the strange world of Mormonism that young women who are dating seriously entertain the idea of going on a mission instead (or, more rarely, the young woman is willing to delay the mission to see if the relationship will pan out, but the guy involved thinks that the mission ought not be delayed).  From a Mormon theological perspective, this makes no sense!

While it is important to spread the gospel, marriage is generally considered a trump card.  Why?  Because marriage is eternally important and, contrary to some commonly-held perceptions, the Lord can do His work without the aid of one more sister missionary.  Of course, some will argue that "the field is white, already to harvest," and that there are souls waiting for the gospel, souls who "won't be reached if I don't serve."  In response, I point out that I spent 80% of my proselyting time in more or less fruitless cold-contacting.  If my own mission were really bursting with hungry souls, we wouldn't have been so actively engaged in searching for them and not finding them.  If someone is genuinely prepared to hear the gospel, there are slews of church members and cold-calling missionaries who have time enough to teach them as soon as the Lord steers them in the right direction.  Don't flatter yourself into thinking that there are people who you and only you can reach.

To be clear, no soul will rot in hell because you chose to get married instead of serving a mission.  On the other hand, you might stymie your own progression by insisting that there is a dire need for your help as a full-time missionary.  I'm sorry to break it to you, but... there isn't.  This is why virtually every Bishop or Stake President you talk to will encourage you to pursue the relationship.  Maybe you should take their advice.

Curse You, Verizon.

I spent over 45 minutes on the phone with Verizon customer "support" today.  The girl who took my call had a hard time understanding what I wanted her to do for me, and it took about 30 minutes for me to explain it to her.  Then it took her 15 minutes to decide she couldn't help me.

It was simple, really.  I have 50 "bonus" minutes on my account.  During the last billing cycle, I used about 50 minutes beyond my limit, so I thought "hey, I'll apply my extra minutes and save myself 25 bucks."  Simple enough, right?

Well, for some reason this girl couldn't figure it out.  By the time she told me it couldn't be done, I was absolutely convinced that she was incompetent.  So I didn't believe her.  I called back and talked to a different representative.  He was able to confirm her response and it only took him 2 minutes.

This has happened before, too.  Half the time I call Verizon I get incompetent, poorly trained reps who can't seem to answer my questions.  I think I've finally learned to hang up immediately when my moron detector goes off.  I should have done that today - it would have saved me 45 minutes of trouble.

Turns out I'm not the only one who has had problems with Verizon support.  One guy, for example, couldn't get Verizon's reps to understand the difference between dollars and cents.

I was almost convinced to switch carriers today - I would have if I weren't attached to a blood-sucking two year contract.  What is it with these guys?

Music and Cheese

I've been called a "music snob" before, and possibly for good reasons.  I don't feel like a "snob," though - I merely recognize music for what it is.  If it is shallow, banal, trite, and unoriginal, I tend to dislike it.  Sue me.  I do realize, though, that not all music was created for the same purpose.

Forgive the analogy, but I think music is a lot like cheese.  I am no connoisseur, but I understand that there are a wide variety of gourmet cheeses, and that the process of making them is nearly an art form - they are carefully cultured, handled and salted, aged and matured to produce unique tastes and textures.  Even the same types of cheese produced by different people can taste different - each maker might have a carefully cultivated signature.  There are hundreds and hundreds of gourmet and artisanal cheeses, and each one is unique.

And then there is cheese whiz.  Cheese whiz and other processed cheeses are designed to be cheap and consistent, suited for mass production.  It is... nasty stuff in comparison to "real" cheese, but it sells very well.  Sometimes people just want a cheap dairy product, and that is what cheese whiz is designed to be.  Someone well acquainted with the wide and dynamic world of gourmet cheeses might sniff in disdain at that unoriginal, characterless, artless, pasty yellow stuff.  Can you blame them?

Music is similar.  Some music is thoughtless stuff that sells well because people prefer shallowy music that doesn't make them think.  This is the cheese whiz of the music world.  Interestingly, cheese whiz music is often mistaken for the "real thing," not because it is deep or artistic, but because people lack the background to understand that they are listening to banality.  Its like the world is filled with people who have only really tasted cheese whiz and therefore think it is gourmet.

On the other hand, some music is genuinely art, studied by musicians for its originality and revered for its depth.  "Gourmet" music isn't arcane and boring.  In fact, a lot of the best music happens to be wildly popular.  But popularity is not an indicator of real music any more than it would be an indicator of real cheese.   There is good stuff, and then there is stuff designed to be mindlessly consumed.

I understand enough about music to know when it is good art, and I prefer to avoid music that isn't.  If this makes me a snob, then so be it!

"Wise" King Solomon

If someone suggested that you chop a baby in half, would you consider him wise?

Credentialing

I didn't know that the word "credential" was so commonly verbaged.

My bishop is a very successful lawyer.  He seems a good guy anyway.  I was talking to him last night and I mentioned that I had started my own business and was entertaining the idea of obtaining an MBA - starting a business has made it very clear how little I know about it, and I thought that an MBA might shore up some of my deficiencies.

My bishop was all for the idea, but not for the reasons you would expect.  He suggested that business school really wouldn't teach me anything, that in terms of knowledge gained, an MBA would be a waste of two years.  But he suggested I do it anyway, not for the knowledge, but for credentials.  Imagine that!

He obviously loved this idea of "credentialing," probably because it worked well for him.  As he perorated about the vast benefits of building up your portfolio for its own sake, I couldn't help but feel that he was missing the boat entirely.  He has this screwily common perception that success is measured in terms of wealth and prestige.  I'm sure he would disagree with that statement because I worded it in a disagreeable way, but his enthusiastic diatribe was quite revealing to me.

I wanted to argue the point with him, but I understood that the topic was deeper than our casual conversation warranted.  Besides, I didn't expect to convince a successful and wealthy lawyer that his world-view occupies so narrow a slice of the human experience.